He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
