i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
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