Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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