We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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