So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Randomize
