Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
