There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
