its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
