Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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