thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
