Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Randomize
