Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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