Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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