Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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