I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
dude. I can hear the air.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
