we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
