Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Randomize
