How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
