I heard we made out
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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