You made me cry and you don't even care
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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