the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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