well I can't set my house on fire every night
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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