Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
worst night to have a conscience
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize