i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
