four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Randomize
