What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
