I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize