So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
