"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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