I accidentally burped into my bong.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
my being single is dangerous.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
