My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
