Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize