I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
