I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Randomize
