Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
