You just made me feel so damn special
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Randomize
