Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
