I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
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