i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Randomize
