you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Houston, we have a squirter
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
