Whats the glycemic index on semen?
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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