i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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