Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
