Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
she smelled like a LAN party
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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