I skipped work to stalk him.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
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