i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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