He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
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