it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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