filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
There r osticjed everywhere
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
