halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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