it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
