At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
