I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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