Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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