grandma shit on top of the toilet
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
She's the barista slut.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
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