i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
The struggles of a small town man whore
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
