Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
My vagina just recognized that song.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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