Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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