I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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