Grow some girl-balls and come out already
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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