god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Randomize
