But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
