His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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