i already hear my dad disowning me
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Randomize
