so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
