Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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