So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
