I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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