okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Randomize
