I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Randomize
