8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
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